Teacher Joke

 

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your  Maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using  tables!
 

TEACHER: George can you count up to 5?
George count up to 5 slowly using his  Fingers.
 

TEACHER: Good, now can you count any   higher?
George put up his hand and count to five  again using his fingers.
 

TEACHER: John, how do you spell  "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
 

TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I  spell it!
 

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula   forwater?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
 

TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
 

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find   North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
 

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered  America?
CLASS: George!
 

TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
 

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so  dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground   then you are.
 

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead,  Go Slow."
 

SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to  write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
 

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot  snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
 

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
 

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
 

MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the  money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
 

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand  and eight oranges
in the other,  what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands